Bring back those days...

She writes..

How dearly i wish for my childhood to return, i can never explain. Why do people have to grow old?Why cant we live and die as children ?

Am sure God could have designed things that way if he wanted to. After all he's the creator of the universe, isnt he?
Then why this complication. Growing up is a bad joke played on us. At the end, am sure nature has the last laugh as it points its mighty finger at us and says,"Ha Ha!! Gotcha !!"

As a child, you know what i had always dreamt? To be born as a Bird in my next birth. Sometimes this changed to Fish too. I don't remember the logic behind wanting to be re-born as birds or fishes. May be i wanted to fly away when ever i wanted, may be i wanted to swim away in the big blue ocean. May be i just had a huge fascination to big blue vast spaces. Sky or ocean.
Oh wait a minute, i once wished to be re-born as a crocodile. Please dont ask me why!

Things haven't changed much. I am living the dream life now. Yet, any day i would still let go of everything i had just to go back to being a 5 yr old and dream about such weird stuff. All this experience, all the education, all the technology seems meaningless to me at times. Call it the quarter-life crisis or whatever.

Growing up gives you tons of responsibilities. There's so much expectation for you to prove yourself. 10 years back, all I had to do was pass my maths exam to prove myself. Back then, my only serious concern was to drink milk without any fuss.
You reach 25, people start looking at your material property, question your marital status, question your acheivements. Are you married? Did you finish your PG? Did you buy a house? Do you have the latest mobile ? Where's your car ? When will you have children ? Aren't you going abroad ?
As much as i enjoy answering all these questions to random strangers, I am not a saint after all.  I would like to have all these stuffs myself, but why the curiousity? Why so serious?
Why can't life be slow paced?

God, as a 10 yr old, i would just have to wake up in the morning, get nicely fed by mom, wear my brightly pressed uniform, go to school, enjoy the games period and occasionally study, get back home by 3 PM, run outside to play, eat dinner and sleep !! What a life... What-a-Life !!

Bring back those days, i say.

The Dirty Secret.

She writes...

It is not surprising to see so many women coming out from their closets now and writing about the horrific experiences that have happened to them in their lives. Please dont get me wrong, i am truly and completely a part of this revolution. This post might be disappointing in a way for some as i dont have any such gory incident to be narrated here. Atleast nothing too specific that i could share. But does that make me a lesser victim? I dont think so.
As a school girl, i too used to travel in these death buses. Taught to dress "decent", Not to talk about groping as it made me look dirty, that if a guy gawks at me, it is my fault that i provoked him (by making myself seen by him, apparently). He is the prince of India, you see.

"This" happens. EVERY girl in India knows that this happens. We have all lived with it. So many women, so many stories. Now.
I am more than confident that if it comes to, "Has it happened to you?" question, every other girl you know has a story to say. It has taken us this long to realise that this disgusting reality is the true story of our 'mother' nation. This is our dirty secret. We need shaking cover stories in newpapers and TV channels to bring this bare truth to our faces. Isn't it utterly shocking that every girl in this nation has a story of sexual harassment and yet we have chosen to live with it in the country that calls itself oh-so-proudly a 'democratic'.

So what do we do now? The government is running out of statements to make. Protests are on and off. We have some sections of people demanding a martyr status for the girl. Some are outrageously asking for a Bravery award to be awarded to this girl. How intelligent. I am surprised by the intellect of these people.
To all these megaminds, all i have to say is, WE ARE ALL DAMINI'S. We are all Nirbhaya's. Award us all , every woman who has lived, survived and died this torment. Make us all martyrs. Damini is not one person, it is a symbol. Damini did not fight a war, she was fighting for her dear life. Damini is not a matyr, she is a Victim. A poor helpless victim.
Because the truth is, On Dec 16, Six animals were on a bus. If not her, it was another girl.

Let me throw some light on a very real incident that i witnessed. Yesterday, i was travelling in a local suburb train. The station was heavily crowded, i manged to get into the Ladies compartment. My husband not knowing that it was ladies compartment got into the train behind me. There was hardly 10 seconds for the train to kick off and at that very moment he realised that it was the ladies compartment. He risked a chance, got off the train, ran to the adjacent compartment which was packed as hell. Lucky he managed to get in. The ladies section was light and had some space to sit and breathe air. All subsequent stops, huge crowd again. And now what i see, at all stops, men started getting in. Around 40 to 50 men got into this compartment. Knowing VERY well that it was a ladies section. I saw these men boarding the train as they slowly clogged the entrance. Just minutes ago, ladies were able to move around freely and now they had to pass the great big man barrier to get on and off the train. They had no shame no remorse and they knew we were not going to complain. Several of these men were gawking at the seated woman. Ah, so much meat. As if the women were items on their window shopping spree.College girls shrugged. A Young mother hesistated to feed her crying baby. Women now sat upright and held their stuff closer. Women adjusted their dupatta's. These men were just looking, not raping. So technically, they are at no fault. But you all know the look, dont you?
After i got down from the train, i asked my husband what was the fine for men travelling in ladies compartments. He said "If police spot them, then its Rs 50, else its a free comfortable ride". Repharse - Free and entertaining ride.

Now, Imagine if the fine was Rs 5000. Would a man dare to get inside? Imagine if police officers were posted at every stop 24/7 to monitor such cases. Would a man dare to board? This is just a very simple example of how useless our system is as-is. Am not even talking about groping or rape or harassment here. This is the day-to-day reality that we see.

No punishment, No fear. 
No fear, No remorse.

Punish, Punish the bastards who do wrong. Punish the men who exploit women. Punish them badly. Punish them so much that other rogues dont dare to think. Enough of this soft country bullshit. Rapists are not men, they are pure blooded animals. Even a gun shot would give you instant death, what these men do, leave us women bleeding for life.

To all the men i ask, as an Indian man, dont you feel ashamed to know that India is not a safe country for women. Dont you want to kill these animals ?
Be a man. Being a man is being a friend to your woman.
They say, Woman are free today. Let them be.

We can't rely on government. They dont give us answers. We can't rely on police. They are not around when we need them. Take the system in your hands and do the correction.
I speak to today's generation. I appeal to my friends who are going to become father's tomorrow.

Teach your daughters to be independent. To be bold to speak about the injustice that happens to her. Teach her that she is not at fault for such crimes, that she is as pure as can be. Teach her to keep her head high and walk on a lonely road without fear. Teach her self-defence. As a father, brother, husband, boyfriend - Help her fight.

Teach your sons to respect woman. Teach him not to gawk at girls who chose to wear the dress that they like. Teach him not to tease and scare woman on the road just to feed his ego or show off to his friends.(Trust me, educated guys from the so-called good families do this even today). Teach him to love woman. Teach him to promote equality. Teach him that the movies that preach Good Women are "traditional" are bullshit. Teach him that woman are just like them and not under them. Teach him to fight the crime when he sees it happen. Teach him to be a Real Man.

The time is NOW, the world finally knows our dirty secret. Nothing can be done to hide it anymore. Dont just say, 'Is desh ka kuch nahi hone wala hai' (Nothing good will happen to this country).
Bloody, be the change.

Best roller-coaster ride ever..

She writes..

How does it feel to be free ? I will let you know soon.

I just got released from my current assignment after 2 years of non-stop work. Lots have happened in the last two years but something that has just remained constant is my WORK. Every day, for 2 years now, i worked.
The longest Roller-Coaster ride i've ever been in. Tears, smiles, shocks, surprises, appraisals,awards...

And now, its all over. The baby that i nurtured for 2 years ,has been handed over to someone else. I have to say, i am experiencing something that people usually call "mixed-emotions". I was waiting until my wedding day to experience one of these but funnily enough, work has taken a lead this time. I am certainly not a work-o-holic. But somehow i feel possessive of the way i dealt with this project. In the begining, it was evil, i tell you. In modern english, i would call it an horcrux that i unabashedly wore around myself for two full years. I failed, i faultered, i flawed, i hurt myself but i survived.

I was rewarded for my work. I was appreciated, i received the most coveted titles. Yet, the most happiness that i got was when everytime i saw the tiny-tot take baby steps and make it into the bigger world. OK. I am talking about the production/live deployment of the deliverables for a change request. OK. In english, project completion.
It was mine all the way, no team, no people. IT was mine and I was proud EVERY time.

If i had to go through the same ride for an other time, would i say yes ? I wouldn't know the answer. I have changed, life changes. But today, as i see the last two years unfold in front of me, i am tempted to be nostalagic, i am sentimental after all. Thanks almighty, for letting me experience something like this, something that almost nearly KILLED me. Thanks for keeping me alive, i depart with a bow. I will miss you. Good Bye CR2.

It's only the start...

She writes...

Two months from now, i would be a Mrs.

Well, life does change... and fast !! These days, i often hear voices in my head shouting "Arghh, you are SO young to be 'Mrs.Deepika', 'Why now ?', 'Why not later?', 'Is this all?', 'So wife huh ?!!' " .

It is scary, these thoughts. Life beyond the nuptial bond seems like a true mystery and not in a great way. But hey, don't blame me, it is not like anyone who gets married ever paints you a rosy picture of marriage.

Two and half years back, i met this guy.. in a land that i had hitherto only seen on the physical map of India. Somewhere, i know Gandhi did something (!). Something to do with the IIM's (!).....
Anyway, this guy, he was a charmer by all means and yet somehow i managed to ignore him. He was there, sitting next to me, from 9 AM to 6 PM, working with me.. a colleague... and we neither greeted each other nor did we acknowledge each other when we met outside. Weird.

His silence raised my curiosity by the day. Just for the heck of it, I nick-named him "sadhu", someone who, in regional terms, simply means a silent harmless monk !!! Well, Sadhu, not for long. It took me a few more days to realize that i had woken up a "drunken/hangover'ed" lion with my silly insinuations. And that's the start of the greatest friendship ever. I laughed like never before, I had fun like i never had in years, his presence would brighten my day and boy, what a friend he turned out to be? May be that's why i gave him a 5x5 cm cute little hallmark card that said "You are even better than i thought" :)
Night walks, phone calls, SMS, e-mails, gossip, me whining, his jokes, 'nariyal paani' in the canteen, flight journey, auto rides, 'Bhagyodhay's' lemon rice, Panner mania, Iskon mall, ebony lounge, '99' - the movie, infocity resort's pavement....

Well.. love stories just go on.. don't they? *smiles*. Too much said, months passed and I had my share of surprises too, on the eve of my 22nd birthday was a proposal on the sands of thiruvanmiyur beach, a bouquet of roses, a birthday cake that said "for the birth of You and Us" , a swarovski ring... and, everything that a girl wants. Life has never been the same ever since. Tons and galloons of love, laughs, tears, hugs, smiles,fights, fun, happiness and lots and lots of love.... Some more love... Add a tinge of love... a little more.... ah well, its never enough. :)

We make a good pair, you know. May be, that's what our parents saw in us ( 'what we made them see' would be more appropriate !! ). In south india, once you bring the parents in the picture, enlighten them about your relationship, throw in an ounce of seriousness in your tone, expect the next word to be "Marriage". and that is exactly what happened.

Two n half years, seems like a glorious route travelled and the road ahead after two months has the direction sign that says "Life" with -> arrow board. Am i ready to set sail ? I don't know.But one thing that i would do with my eyes closed, is to hold the hands of my guy and walk beside him forever and ever.

I might be freaked out with all this sudden change of comfort zones, marriage responsibilities, new title, new relatives et all.. but he's out there laughing at my innocence and telling me "Idiot, its going to be fine". [and the psycho that i am, i am thinking, 'Dude, your going to have to do a LOT more to be just fine living a life with me] and he gives me his re-assuring smile, like as if he just read my mind. See, right there, that's where he wins me all over again. DAMN.

Thus, i answer the voices
"Arghh, you are SO young to be 'Mrs.Deepika'" = "Am i, then THAT is what adds to the FUN part, doesn't it ??? Younger wives are better than older hags !!! am gonna make all you married couples SO jealous (ok sorry.. Mom says i shouldn't say such things )"
"Why now?" = "Yes, NOW, Right away.. "
"Why not later?" = Later ??? how about a micro-milli-mini-second later ?
"Is this all ?" = Bring it on !!
"So wife huh?!!" = So..... WIFE huh :-)

Two months from now, Meet Mrs.Deepika. :-)

Miss.Deepika
Signing Off

Its me.. breaking the rules... Yay !!

She writes..


Finally... I've figured out a way to write blogs sitting in my office cabin. And yes, am breaking the rules by doing so. Seriously, my life has taken a super-duper 360 degree turn in the last one year that i finally realise HOW much fun it is to break rules.
Not that I've always been following them, i just don't break them. Got it? Anyway, coming to my point... YES.. i can write blogs sitting in my office cabin. Isn't that absolutely great ? Okay, am not asking.. That IS great.
so..... "YAY" !!
I cant even begin to explain how many numerous times i would've died to write a blog about something and by the time i reach home, i would end up being so tired and i would hardly start my computer...
Phew !! Anyway, i hope my good self doesn't come out of the closet again and stop me from posting blogs from office JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT ETHICAL !!!

tweet tweet wat ??

Shes wonders...

What's a tweet ??
So now, Tweeting is a word or something ??
Oh.. Twitter is it ?
What is that ?
HELP* !!

*( Google might banish me from the net for not knowing what twitter is !!)

How's life ?

She writes...

How's life ?
This is probably the first thing your long lost friend asks you when you meet after a long time ( by long time, i mean the time that you've exactly taken to forget the poor dude(tte) in front of you and vice versa ) .
In fact, cut the sarcasm, this is probably the first thing just about anybody asks you when they are in terrible desperation to start a conversation. So, how exactly are you supposed to answer this question without actually meaning to answer ? Because, face it.. your life is not something you can actually explain as an answer to a question with 2 words in length.
We say,
1) "Am fine, how's yours ?" - Which means, i really dont wish to discuss MY life with you and am certainly not interested in yours !
2) "Going on.. " - Which means, Its going on BAD !
3) "Ya... going on" - For those you who are thinking, whats the big "ya" going to make a difference to point 2 and 3 ? Well, the much prolongated "ya" simply means... hmm, its not too bad.. but nothing's happening.
A smaller "ya" would mean, am just trying to answer your question faster cause my life is boring anyway !!
4) "Super" - This one's tricky, The answer can be either sarcastic, more like "duh... am dying and you ask me how is life ?" Or it can actually be Super ! ( Yeah, dont be surprised.. some life stories are actually "super" !!)
5) "Bindaas" - Okay, that's the hindi slang. And this means, the dude doesnt give a damn to his life or your question!

Anyway, Apart from all the amazing gyan that am boring you with, i think "how's life?" is a question thats used quite liberally. Imagine the poems it can bring out of a person when asked at the right time, in the right tone, with the right emotion and right look !
Hmm....