She writes...
Do we always appreciate what we have ? I, for one cannot and haven't ever. Years have gone by when I have lamented about my state of life or the choices I've made. Every two years, like a magical pattern, I end up battling with one single most important issue that is going on in my life.
Today, As I look back I find these memories amusing. I am someone who lives in the past, and relax, that's not bad. That doesn't mean I cant live in the present and don't dream of my future. I just like dwelling in the realm of memories more often than not. I sometimes go to sleep wanting to dream about my past. Does that sound insane? Welcome to my world. However, this note is not one of repentance or reassurances from the past. This is one of those days where I feel blessed and happy about where I am in life.
I have always wanted to travel and live in new world. I have always wanted to meet new people and interact with other cultures. Although this has been my secret dream, I never dared to plan a trip wanting to do these things specifically. And i honestly don't think am adventurous enough to backpack across the country. So today, When I see myself setting shop successfully far in the north as north goes, I see it as an accomplishment. Mind you, I have done this with two fully grown toddlers. The last year has been exciting and challenging. I have always been cocooned in life. Everything provided for or with help always around the corner. But the true slice of life comes alive when you learn to live on your own and on your terms, learning, falling, fighting, loving and struggling and all that. Because this is the only way, you know what sweet success tastes like. Otherwise, you are only reveling in someone else's rain.
Life has taken some interesting turns and Boy! have I turned and how! I am not sure if my core self has changed but I sure feel different. I am still grappling with fear on most days but this feels good. Unless I am scared, how do I learn to overcome it ? SO, this is me, appreciating me, my life, my family and my world. Loving every bit of it and I wanna say "Bring it on.." But is it too early ? :-S
Do we always appreciate what we have ? I, for one cannot and haven't ever. Years have gone by when I have lamented about my state of life or the choices I've made. Every two years, like a magical pattern, I end up battling with one single most important issue that is going on in my life.
Today, As I look back I find these memories amusing. I am someone who lives in the past, and relax, that's not bad. That doesn't mean I cant live in the present and don't dream of my future. I just like dwelling in the realm of memories more often than not. I sometimes go to sleep wanting to dream about my past. Does that sound insane? Welcome to my world. However, this note is not one of repentance or reassurances from the past. This is one of those days where I feel blessed and happy about where I am in life.
I have always wanted to travel and live in new world. I have always wanted to meet new people and interact with other cultures. Although this has been my secret dream, I never dared to plan a trip wanting to do these things specifically. And i honestly don't think am adventurous enough to backpack across the country. So today, When I see myself setting shop successfully far in the north as north goes, I see it as an accomplishment. Mind you, I have done this with two fully grown toddlers. The last year has been exciting and challenging. I have always been cocooned in life. Everything provided for or with help always around the corner. But the true slice of life comes alive when you learn to live on your own and on your terms, learning, falling, fighting, loving and struggling and all that. Because this is the only way, you know what sweet success tastes like. Otherwise, you are only reveling in someone else's rain.
Life has taken some interesting turns and Boy! have I turned and how! I am not sure if my core self has changed but I sure feel different. I am still grappling with fear on most days but this feels good. Unless I am scared, how do I learn to overcome it ? SO, this is me, appreciating me, my life, my family and my world. Loving every bit of it and I wanna say "Bring it on.." But is it too early ? :-S
3 comments:
Can't agree more. Life swings by too fast. Gratefulness is a great virtue that many don't bother about, unfortunately. And, let's live our life the way WE want to, and not how others want us to :)
May we now expect you to write more often !?
How true... It is very hard for mothers to take time off to really appreciate themselves and little things around them .... There was a time I thought I started to complain too much until very recently I realized and started to appreciate the good I have in life and this tiny step has bought more joy in life than ever ..
That part of your life was a huge achievement really. If you ever feel low, look back at that time when you and Prashanth moved across the seas,and started a whole new life with your toddlers. I will always miss not having you around, but that's a different story :)
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