She writes...
The last ten years of my life has been intriguing to say the least. I have finally come to understand what the "elders" always used to fret about. I think the twenties are the times when you consciously know that your screwing up with your life, but you continue to do so nevertheless.
I have seen so many low's in my life, and invariably I tell myself that, "this, right here is the lowest point of my life". Today, as I reminisce, I am laughing out loud at my insanity. For example, I cried to myself every single night of my training days in Ahmadabad as there was a chicken-pox outbreak in my hostel. Like, seriously, that I thought was the most difficult phase of my life. I did not want to catch the disease, but please don't think that I was being a major sissy or that it was because of my illness anxiety disorder. It just meant that I had to quit my 1-month old training and join the next batch and start afresh. Simply re-boot the last 30 days of my training with a new batch. Yeah, this could easily be the lowest point of anybody's life, right ?
But it passed. I came out of that ordeal unscathed. And from so many of such trials that I've self imposed on my life. If only I had some sense of reality during these times, a sense of control over the uncontrollable future that beholds, If only I had learnt to remain sane every time i was caught in the undertow, I could've helped myself more than I could imagine. In reality, It's really hard to underestimate your problems when you are in one. But life, I suppose, teaches you the trick. Slowly but surely.
I messed up an interview recently. One that I should've hit for a lofty six over the roof. There was no other option, this was it. My only chance, my only ray of hope, my only train to happy-land and I messed it. Right now, I am actually in a state of deep mourning for my career. And I can already feel the ground falling apart beneath my feet. I am depressed and practically cursing myself even as I write this blog. I don't have many friends to lament. God hasn't created Human beings to be tolerant enough to tolerate my rantings.
So as of today, this right now, is officially the lowest point of my life. And guess what, as I await my results, oh yes, I forgot to mention that I still haven't received my results of that dreadful interview (Did I hear you leave an annoyed "PPFFF" ? Trust me, I ruined it and Only a miracle could save me from this abyss), I can't think of anything but failure, the dark road of depression and stormy showers of misery that follow. But, as i quoted earlier, I know i need to be calm, I know i am supposed to be real and strong, learn from the mistakes and be ready when am thrown a newer challenge.
Basically, just shut up and straighten myself. Because nobody else is going to be able to do that for me.
The last ten years of my life has been intriguing to say the least. I have finally come to understand what the "elders" always used to fret about. I think the twenties are the times when you consciously know that your screwing up with your life, but you continue to do so nevertheless.
I have seen so many low's in my life, and invariably I tell myself that, "this, right here is the lowest point of my life". Today, as I reminisce, I am laughing out loud at my insanity. For example, I cried to myself every single night of my training days in Ahmadabad as there was a chicken-pox outbreak in my hostel. Like, seriously, that I thought was the most difficult phase of my life. I did not want to catch the disease, but please don't think that I was being a major sissy or that it was because of my illness anxiety disorder. It just meant that I had to quit my 1-month old training and join the next batch and start afresh. Simply re-boot the last 30 days of my training with a new batch. Yeah, this could easily be the lowest point of anybody's life, right ?
But it passed. I came out of that ordeal unscathed. And from so many of such trials that I've self imposed on my life. If only I had some sense of reality during these times, a sense of control over the uncontrollable future that beholds, If only I had learnt to remain sane every time i was caught in the undertow, I could've helped myself more than I could imagine. In reality, It's really hard to underestimate your problems when you are in one. But life, I suppose, teaches you the trick. Slowly but surely.
I messed up an interview recently. One that I should've hit for a lofty six over the roof. There was no other option, this was it. My only chance, my only ray of hope, my only train to happy-land and I messed it. Right now, I am actually in a state of deep mourning for my career. And I can already feel the ground falling apart beneath my feet. I am depressed and practically cursing myself even as I write this blog. I don't have many friends to lament. God hasn't created Human beings to be tolerant enough to tolerate my rantings.
So as of today, this right now, is officially the lowest point of my life. And guess what, as I await my results, oh yes, I forgot to mention that I still haven't received my results of that dreadful interview (Did I hear you leave an annoyed "PPFFF" ? Trust me, I ruined it and Only a miracle could save me from this abyss), I can't think of anything but failure, the dark road of depression and stormy showers of misery that follow. But, as i quoted earlier, I know i need to be calm, I know i am supposed to be real and strong, learn from the mistakes and be ready when am thrown a newer challenge.
Basically, just shut up and straighten myself. Because nobody else is going to be able to do that for me.
